“You will succeed if you persevere; and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles.”

—  Helen Keller

I have never played professional football. I learned about football when I came to the US many years ago, and it became one of my favorite pastimes....even more than baseball, which is saying a lot for a Cuban native!

There are many plays in football that are pure acrobatic magic, but one of my absolute favorites is when an offensive player breaks tackles to “move the chains” and ultimately scores the touchdown. And while both offense and defense players can break tackles, I especially marvel when they face off the opposing player and seemingly shuffle side-to-side and go around them. Sweetness! I love it!

Obstacles in life, are quite often very similar to facing an opposing player in the field. Especially in a cancer journey.

And the biggest challenge is how do you “go around them”?

It’s not easy. In fact, obstacles usually seem larger and more imposing than they may truly be...whether far or near.

For me, just as the quote by Helen Keller reminds us, it boils down to tapping into resilience, with the intention to persevere, while knowing that most of the time, just on the other side of that obstacle, we can indeed find grace and joy.

And so, we’re sharing some of our own perspective, with the intention that it serves to help you or someone you love on this journey, ‘break tackles’. 

Here we go!

Let’s try a quick visualization exercise....grab a pen and some paper if that is helpful to you.

1. What is the face or name of your obstacle? When I began my journey in 2019, during a particularly horrible chemo night, I closed my eyes and visualized a face for the cancer. I carefully drew it in my mind’s eye, and it was a really ugly face. And then, I punched it in my mind’s eye, with my fists, several times until it deflated and disappeared. I must tell you that it was immensely helpful to me at the time. What obstacle are you facing right now that seems “un-tackle-able”? Can you put a face on it? Can you name it? Try it...take your time with this step so that you get the most from the next two steps.

2. What is the face or name you would name yourself? ...Ah-ha! That’s right, sometimes it helps to put yourself in the “shoes” of the opponent and look back at ourselves from that vantage point... How do you think you look to the obstacle? What would the “obstacle” name you? Ok, so now try this: other than your given name or nickname, what would you call yourself. The incomparable Beyoncé named her alter self “Sasha Fierce”. And in and of itself, it is interesting that just by saying “Sasha Fierce”, one can visualize an even stronger version of her. Right? So take a moment and think about what you would call yourself to create an even stronger version of you. This step is both enlightening and liberating. Go for it!

3. What are you ultimately trying to achieve? What’s your “end zone”? I am most effective when I set an intention or a goal in overcoming a challenge. For instance, when I began my very first chemo regimen, I was told that I would likely need at least 8 of those sessions. That was tough to hear and even tougher to do. But what I did at the outset was to count backwards. Instead of saying “x number of treatments to go”, I said “already did x number of treatments”. So I “got around the “total number” by acknowledging what I had completed versus what I had still to do. It was seemingly small, but for me, it was my “side-to-side shuffle” to get around and over the obstacle of the number of treatments. My “end zone” was completion (each treatment was a completed play) versus “numbers to still complete”. This proved enduringly favorable as I am now on well over 100 treatment rounds since I first began in 2019. Take the time to truly articulate (with as much specificity as possible) what you want to have on the other side of that obstacle. Be intentional and focused on receiving the grace and joy you want.

In football, players talk a lot about spending time in the film room going back through plays and watching the plays of their opponents. In life, we are often told to forget about our past actions and not to dwell in the past (especially if there were missteps).

But I believe that visualizing what we did (the good and the not-so-good), with the intention to become better (not to judge or punish ourselves) is what our “film room” time should be.

It is what allows us to truly size-up the ‘obstacle’ and see how we can get around it, because hindsight is not just 20/20, I believe it’s actually 360°. It allows us to zoom-out and see all that was happening and how we acted.

It is in that observation and thoughtfulness that we can learn how to do better.

With love,
Amelia O.